The First Step In Personal Development Is Deciding You're Worth It
The First Step
Someone recently asked me what I thought the first step was for one’s personal development journey. While individuals can work on themselves in a number of ways, I believe that the very first step is deciding you are worth it.
When I say “it,” I am referring to the time, energy, intention, and financial commitment that it takes to work on yourself.
For example, say you decide you want to begin to work on improving your physical health. You will have to commit time and energy to learning about what your body needs to feel healthier. You may start to include daily movement into your day which is going to take time and intention to actually get that done. If you want to eat healthier, you will need to learn what that means for you and your body, spend money on those foods, and be intentional about planning what, when, and how much you eat. You may decide to work with a professional on your nutrition and fitness goals.
Regardless of where you start, the very first step is deciding that you want to become healthier and that you are worth that investment of your resources.
Or, let’s say you have some personal goals related to your professional life. You will spend time and energy looking for strategies that can support you and then you need to follow through with practicing those strategies. You may read books, listen to podcasts, or work with a professional to guide your professional development. No matter how you go about working on your goals, the first step is deciding that you want to improve your life, your skillset, and achieve certain things related to your professional responsibilities.
That first step—deciding you are worth it—is where the journey begins.
How I Discovered It Was Time For Me to Change
It was the Fall of 2021. We were coming out of the COVID-19 Pandemic, and business was some-what back to usual. As a college professor, I returned to teaching in a physical college classroom, but we were still wearing masks for part of that school year. So things were “back to normal,” but things seemed far from normal. We had all been changed and impacted to some degree.
The poor eating and drinking habits I established during my PhD program had been exacerbated during the pandemic, and they continued from the high stress I experienced from my job in higher education. But I kept pushing hard and achieving all the things I was supposed to achieve in my position because that’s what I had always done: work hard, achieve, keep working hard, and achieve more.
After years of attaining leadership roles and accolades within my profession, I found myself in my “dream job,” but it came at the cost of being led away from my values. I was no longer leading myself, but instead, allowed the expectations and responsibilities of “the job” and “climbing the ladder” to define who I was supposed to be as a leader.
Instead of leading myself, I was being led down a path that included unrealistic workloads and responsibilities, and time away from my family, friends, and things that I loved to do. High stress caused me to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms around food, alcohol, and a lack of daily movement.
Right before my winter break, I took a look in the mirror and no longer recognized myself physically or emotionally. Who was this woman staring back at me? She didn’t reflect the woman I thought I was or who I desired to be.
Instead of an energetic, loving, and present woman, wife, and mother, I was a worn-out, exhausted, and burned-out individual. Not even 40 yet, I saw the next decade of my life flash before my eyes. I dreaded the years ahead. If “this was it,” this was not worth it.
I realized then that I was worth taking steps to improve my life. My current self—and the future version of myself that I wanted to grow into—was worth the time and energy that I would have to commit to figuring out how to become healthier, happier, and more at peace in my life.
At that moment, I knew that I had to make changes to improve my health and well-being. It started with believing that I could take steps to change the trajectory of my life. Then, I had to lead myself to self-discovery.
It was that decision of saying “yes” to myself where my personal development journey began.
Since then, I have spent the last 4 years on a “wellness journey” where I have taken steps to improve my physical, emotional, and intellectual well-being. I wasn’t feeling good physically, so I began to work on my physical wellness so that I would have more energy for the things that I wanted to do in my life. I hired a health and fitness coach and never looked back.
Once I started to feel good physically, I started to work on my emotional and intellectual well-being. That’s when the “magic” really happened. Once I had all three of those areas working together—my physical, emotional, and intellectual health—I felt unstoppable. And now, that’s what I help others do through my signature Empowered Ascent Program where I guide individuals through my 1-on-1 and Group Coaching Programs. I also infuse my learnings and frameworks into my keynotes and workshops when I speak to companies, organizations, and groups of individuals on how to truly find “peak” performance in life and work.
How You Can Start Your Personal Development Journey
You want to grow. You want more balance, more clarity, more energy. You want to feel fulfilled and not just productive.
Before you can lead a team, your family, your business—or your life—you have to start with the most important person: yourself.
That’s where self-leadership begins.
Not with a productivity hack.
Not with a new planner or a new diet.
But with one, single decision.
A quiet, powerful decision that says:
“I am worth the time, energy, and effort it takes to become who I want to be.”
Why Self-Leadership Matters
If you're reading this, you're likely a high-achieving individual—a leader in your field, your home, your community. You give so much of yourself to others. But leadership without personal alignment leads to burnout.
I get it, because I was there. After years of pushing toward goals that I thought mattered, finding my dream job, and taking on unhealthy habits that helped me deal with stress, I found myself exhausted, numb, and wondering “is this it?”
I gave my time and energy to every commitment. However, I forgot to take care of myself in the process.
I realized that ambition without inner clarity had led me to feeling stuck, unfulfilled, no matter how much I had achieved. And that led to some massive resentment toward myself for sacrificing all that I had sacrificed along the way—including my health.
The most important people in my life—my kids, my husband, my family, and my friends—deserved a version of me that was my best self, not the burned out version that I brought to every space that I was in.
Self-leadership is what bridges the gap between the life you’re living and the one you’re longing for.
It’s the daily act of showing up for yourself, even when it’s hard. It’s carving out time to reflect, learn, and grow—on purpose.
So, How Do You Lead Yourself?
You start with what you have and where you are in this present moment. And you take small, smart steps that will lead you toward what you want for your life.
Here are a few ways to begin:
1. Read Books That Stretch You
Reading gives you access to wisdom beyond your own experience. Whether it’s personal development, leadership, or a memoir from someone who’s walked a hard road—you’ll find parts of yourself in every page.
Ask yourself: What’s one book that could expand my thinking this month?
2. Listen to Podcasts That Challenge You
While driving, walking, folding laundry—let voices that inspire growth speak into your day. Choose podcasts that don’t just entertain, but equip and encourage.
Need a starting point? Look for conversations about mindset, wellness, courage, and purpose.
3. Journal to Connect with Yourself
It doesn’t have to be lengthy. Even five minutes a day of honest reflection can reveal what’s working, what’s not, and what you truly want. Writing things down brings clarity and accountability. My “10-Minute Power Practice” is a powerful journaling exercise to start your morning. You can also use my Free Reflection Workbook to help you establish daily, monthly, and quarterly reflection practices.
Try this journal prompt: What does the best version of me need today?
4. Learn from People Who Are Doing the Work
Surround yourself (even virtually) with people who are leading themselves well. People who are showing up for their own growth, setting boundaries, choosing rest, and investing in their personal development. Follow them, learn from them, and join them. My website’s Journals are a place where I teach and inspire individuals who want to improve their lives. Pick a few Journals on topics that resonate with where you are at right now, then dig in, and start to take action.
Try this: Head to my website’s Journals and pick a topic that stands out to you. Read it, reflect, and consider trying some of the action steps. When you see others taking smart steps, it sparks something in you, too.
Ready for a Clear Path to Lead Yourself?
If you're craving clarity on your life, your habits, your direction—and you're ready to actually do the work—I’ve created something for you:
“The Guided Experience” for my Empowered Ascent Toolkit is built with you in mind.
This isn’t just a journal. It’s a roadmap. A guided, self-paced journey through the exact steps I use in:
✔️ My 1-on-1 coaching sessions
✔️ My group coaching programs
✔️ My Masterclasses
✔️ And my wellness workshops
Inside, I walk you through:
Reflecting on your current season of life
Defining what you actually want
Identifying what’s holding you back
And building a clear, actionable plan using my “Smart” Step Strategy
It’s designed to help high-achieving, busy individuals pause, reflect, and re-align with what matters most.
And the best part? You don’t have to do it alone. I’ll be guiding you—step by step—through video sessions that accompany each section. You get the clarity of a coach, with the flexibility of doing it on your own time.
If you're ready to lead yourself and take the first step toward a life that feels aligned, energized, and purposeful…
“The Guided Experience” is your next step.
Click here to access “The Guided Experience” so that you can start your personal development journey today.
Because you are worth the time.
You are worth the effort.
And you are absolutely worth growing.
Photo Credit Mareko Tamaleaa
