The Art of Setting Boundaries: 3 Ways to Protect Your Time and Energy
How A Lack of Boundaries Led To Burnout
Four years after COVID, I hit a wall. The kind of burnout that seeps into every corner of your life—your patience, your health, your joy. And the truth is, it wasn’t a mystery how I got there. I knew exactly when I’d stopped protecting my time, my energy, and my focus.
What’s ironic is that I used to be great at setting boundaries. After having two babies back-to-back, I was disciplined about leaving my teaching work at work. I only brought home grading when absolutely necessary—major papers, big projects, the kind of things that couldn’t wait.
In the early years of teaching high school English and coaching, I had learned the hard way that overcommitting would break me. Coaching sports after school while getting my master’s degree taught me that if I wanted to survive, I had to carve out time for things outside of work that mattered to me. That meant that I had to set boundaries. Boundaries weren’t optional—they were essential to my health and well-being.
Then COVID happened, and those boundaries didn’t just blur, they disappeared entirely. Suddenly, I was home with a preschooler, a third grader, and a fourth grader, all learning remotely. My days became a juggling act: helping my kids tune into their Google Classroom sessions, keeping up with their assignments, finding another activity to keep my preschooler busy, and teaching my own university courses that had abruptly shifted online.
I recorded lectures at odd hours, prayed that my 3-year-old wouldn’t crawl across my lap during live classes, and taught with one ear listening for someone calling, “Mom!”
Oh, and because the universe has a sense of humor, my youngest was also potty training—so yes, I took department meetings on mute, sitting on the bathroom floor, camera off.
Boundaries? They were nonexistent.
Meanwhile, my colleagues who didn’t have children enjoyed their days at home with their furry friends, logging on virtually to teach their classes, and using their evenings catching up on seasons of Netflix shows they hadn’t watched for years. One colleague described it as a never-ending weekend...He was loving it, while I was in survival-mode.
We were living in two entirely different worlds, just miles apart.
After the world reopened, I couldn’t seem to find my way back to my boundaries. Late-night work sessions continued so that I could spend some time during the afternoons with my kids. I answered emails on weekends and when the kids went to bed. My holidays and winter break were used to prepare new classes and advise students. Without clear lines, my work bled into every part of my life until there was nothing left to give.
The result was complete, undeniable burnout.
Why Boundaries Matter
If you’ve ever felt like you’re running full-speed into burnout with no way to hit the brakes, hear this: you are not alone and it doesn’t have to be this way.
In a world that glorifies hustle, boundaries can feel like rebellion. But in reality, boundaries are an act of self-respect.
They say:
My time is valuable.
My energy matters.
I don’t have to say yes to everything to be worthy, successful, or good.
For high-achievers, boundaries can feel like failure—like letting someone down, or admitting you can’t do it all.
But here’s the truth: If you don’t set boundaries, your body eventually will.
Whether through exhaustion, resentment, illness, or emotional shutdown, your mind and body will speak up for what they need if you don’t.
What I Learned About Setting Boundaries
Rebuilding my boundaries didn’t happen overnight. It took awareness, reflection, intention, and the willingness to hold myself accountable. Here’s what I’ve learned:
Boundaries are not walls; they are guide rails.
They’re not about shutting people out, rather they are about keeping yourself safe, balanced, and able to show up fully in the moments that matter.If you don’t set your boundaries, someone else will.
Whether it’s a boss, a friend, or a well-meaning family member, people will fill your calendar and your energy if you don’t first protect it yourself.Boundaries need regular maintenance.
Just like seasons change, so do our responsibilities and capacity. What worked last year might need adjusting now. Regularly reflect on what you currently need, and adjust your boundaries accordingly.
3 Ways to Protect Your Time and Energy
1. Know Where You Struggle Most
Many individuals that I work with in my Empowered Ascent Coaching Program tell me they struggle to say “no” at work, overextend themselves in family obligations, or fill every free moment with multitasking.
Identifying your personal weak spots is the first step to protecting your time.
2. Practice Respectful Boundary Language
Boundaries don’t have to be harsh to be effective. Here’s a few examples:
“I won’t be able to take that on right now.”
“I have a commitment during that time, but I hope it goes well!”
“That’s not going to work for me, but thank you for thinking of me.”
3. Build Micro-Habits That Protect Your Energy
Turn off email notifications after a set time each night, or set restrictions on your screen time.
Shut down your computer at a specific time and be sure to leave your laptop in a dedicated workspace.
Leave your phone in a different room so that you can truly connect with your loved ones at home.
Block a “focused working hour” on your calendar.
Protect one weekend morning a week for rest or something that brings you joy.
Plan Ahead, Be Intentional, and Communicate Boundaries
Boundaries work best when they are clear, proactive, and shared. Waiting until you’re already exhausted to set them rarely works. Instead:
Plan your week with your non-negotiables first. For example, for me that includes building in family time, exercise, and moments of rest and rejuvenation.
Be intentional about where your focus goes each day.
Communicate expectations early and clearly to others so they know your limits.
How You Can Set Boundaries
Ask yourself: Where in my life do I need to reset or strengthen my boundaries?
If you can reclaim even one hour a week for something that truly restores you, imagine the ripple effect it could have.
I’ve been the woman who ignored the signs, running on empty until I had nothing left to give. And I’ve also been the woman who learned to rest, reflect, and rebuild.
Now it’s your turn to set intentional boundaries:
Download the workbook below.
Start small.
Set one boundary this week.
Because when you protect your time, your energy, and your peace—you don’t just reclaim your life. You redefine success on your terms.
If you are a Teacher, School Leader, or Professor: Download my free Less Hustle, More Peace: A Reflective Workbook for Educators that has specific reflection prompts to help you reclaim your time, energy, and boundaries. You’ll also receive weekly newsletter, “HOPE Notes: A Newsletter for Empowered Educators.”
Click here: https://hope-notes-for-educators.kit.com/signup
Everyone else: Download my Less Hustle, More Peace workbook with strategies to set personal and professional boundaries and regain balance in work and life. You’ll also be added to my monthly newsletter with stories, tips, and tools for growth.
Click here: www.drkristenstrom.com/less-hustle-workbook
Ready for Personalized Coaching Support?
In my Empowered Ascent Coaching Program, I help individuals learn the skills to protect their time, energy, and focus so they can show up fully for both their personal and professional lives—without running themselves into the ground.
If you’ve been feeling stretched too thin or find yourself giving more than you have to give, maybe it’s time to revisit your boundaries. I invite you to explore how setting them—intentionally and unapologetically—can help you reclaim your energy and your joy.
Learn more about my Empowered Ascent Program and personalized coaching support by scheduling a Discovery Call with me. Click here to schedule a time to chat. I look forward to meeting you!
